For the conscious writer
I started writing words of affirmation to myself a year ago and I’ve only gained more and more confidence from it. As writer who is making writing a career, I decided to write to myself publically. (You can find #letterstomyself on Instagram here). At first, it was so embarrassing. It showed the world my deepest vulnerabilities and the words I needed to hear to lift myself up. It was giving people the keys to destroy. But what happened instead was that people were able to relate to my struggles. It also showed those that care about me, that I was struggling. I’ve stepped so far out of my comfort zone since the beginning of this journey. I still have a lot of bold moves to do, but I can say writing words of affirmation to myself and sharing it with my friends and family has really boosted my confidence and changed the way I think about myself and others.
I’ve learned a few things from writing myself words of affirmation.
I’ve learned that loving someone takes intention. I can’t just sit down and write, “Great job!” to someone I love as words of affirmation. I have to truly understand their struggles and their goals. Before I sit down and write my words of affirmation, I think about where I’m feeling unloved, or where I’m feeling not good enough and then I love that part of me and remind myself why those negative thoughts aren’t true. It takes time. It takes solitude. It takes trust and security. It takes listening and it takes me wanting to love me entirely.
Which leads to my next thought.
If someone is truly invested in loving me, they will take the time to understand me where I am. And I will know they are invested because they will give me feedback that shows that they are paying attention. They don’t just say, “Good job.” Someone who desires to love me entirely will sit with me. They will create intimate moments where we can open up to each other. They will create a space where trust and security is king.
Which means, I have to learn to accept this type of love. I have to look for these things in men I’m interested in and expect it. The bar is to be loved entirely. And if this is the bar I set, I have to be ready to accept it. Writing myself words of affirmation has allowed me to accept love for myself and expect love for myself and nothing less.
I showed myself what it’s like to be intentionally loved and invested in and when you love someone with only the purpose of love, they bloom. I bloomed.
So write yourself love so hard, you feel silly. You don’t have to show it to the world. You just have to show up for you.
|Image by alan9187 from Pixabay|